Jake Lakerdale, lead singer of metallurgical band 7ft PaperCut, has been sacked after bandmates and fan sites received footage of the singer’s childhood appearance on the programme “The GodSquad” - aired over 20 years ago. Lakerdale is shown (aged 11) in full Altar gear giving praise to the Lord, although the renowned Satanist is not praising the Lord of Flies as one would expect. Guitarist Scott Lacey: “We are devastated - all this time we’ve followed Jake as far as the lakes of Hell and further. We’ve sacrificed things together - you can’t break those kinds of bonds easily. Our band will have to go back and take a look at ourselves. This is a definite set back on our joint road to eternal damnation.” The GodSquad was a special series helping Christians aged between 4 and 14 learn about the stories and beliefs of the faith in a “funky” young adult way. Lakerdale is believed to have been involved with at least 3 episodes of the show which invited kids of varying ages to talk about their faith to the assembled audience, as well as submitting puppet shows, songs and paintings of various events and characters from the bible.
Lakerdale has since posted a response on his own site, stating that the show and its contents were “Recorded years before my interest in the occult started. I was just a middle-American kid whose parents were proud to see their son worshipping on TV,” and that “just a year or two later I was reading Aleister Crowley and listening to the ‘Sabbath.” Not all parties are convinced, though - bassist Noah Reed explains: “Years ago Jake helped me through my problems with money and drugs. Now I see that all that kindness, the tenderness at which he used to console me with hugs and affection was all the product of a good Christian background, not a Hellspawned Heart. I should have seen it coming, but I was too busy being saved and redeemed by Jake for me to see the obvious “Good Samaritan” behind those actions. I feel used and degraded - I may as well be wearing a pastel cream suit with corn-flour blue tie and bucked teeth.” Local charity worker Christopher Jeremiah is expected to take the lead vocal spot for the foreseeable future.